Sixty-nine is a very interesting age for a man, and for me, very interesting. I have been getting notices from the medical world that I should arrange my estate and give permission for someone to make decisions about my healthcare and well-being in case I am mentally checked out. They argue that you should arrange these things now when you are sane rather than making trouble for a loved one or family member. So, at sixty-nine, I started thinking of my future and realized that the future, if everything goes well, can approximately last for another twelve years. Of course, as I age more, the quality of my physical life will more likely go down than up, and therefore, I think I’m approaching the last chapter of my life.
I’m OK with that thought, but it does make me think about my priorities. For instance, I have always wanted to visit North Africa, South America, and Vietnam. But, realistically, I don’t think I have the time or energy to visit those parts of the world because I tend to like to spend time in each space for at least three weeks. Logically, I have to make a realistic choice of which part of the world I want to go to, and for those I can’t go to, I may find a good travel documentary on those places online. So, all is not lost, and the economics of such a life will also restrict my travel plans. Every choice I make will exclude one of the categories that seem to be my life these days.
Even when I visit old friends, I start noticing that they have aged, and there are wrinkles here and there, and the worst thought that comes to my mind is, what do they see on my face? And even worse, are they disappointed? Aging is such a fascinating natural process, and really, it’s decay that one’s experiencing. It can be sad, but the process of aging is busy, and there is really no time for sadness. Beauty is skin-deep, but ugliness is the foundation many of us have to deal with; as the great songwriter Serge Gainsbourg stated, Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts longer. Then again, when you are on your deathbed, does it make a difference?
Best wishes on your day!
I think I was afraid of aging awhile ago, but serious medical conditions cured that thought. For a woman, there is a freedom in just simply not caring anymore. It's also kind of freeing to start to part with things. I try to find places where they will be appreciated.
That being said, the world is still a very beautiful place. I love your idea of traveling, because it is so necessary to stay in a place to truly savor it. I hope you find a way to arrange it.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy birthday Tosh! From my perspective of eighty six and still in love with life even as it fades into some kind of eternal trip that everyone must take. Quality is more important than quantity. The inscription on Gregory Corso’s grave at Shelly’s feet says it all. To paraphrase, the spirit is a stream that moves toward, and is not afraid of the ocean. ..