Hang on Someone's Words (and Ears)

Sunday, February 13, 2022

I look back so far that I can’t see what is in front of me.  Whenever I go to a concert, I’m focused on who is there, meaning in the audience.  Even when the music is being performed and the musicians are dancing on the stage, my eyes are still wandering around the theater, hoping that I see someone I know.  A concert has no meaning unless you fill it up with people you know.  The best part of the show is talking to friends online about how excited you are to go to the event and then getting there a little bit early to hang out in the lobby of the theater - to check out the merchant table and see friends.  The actual show starting is a combination of excitement and disappointment simultaneously.  The truth is we are excited to sit down and to see the show, but in reality, we want to communicate to others how excited we are being there and want to celebrate the communal feeling that we all have.  For instance, I purchased a new suit for the concert, and I want my friends to see me in my outfit.   It is not unusual for me to not remember the actual stage show, but I, of course, have a crystal clear memory of every transaction right before the concert.  I even enjoy getting in line for security.  Something is thrilling about having a pair of hands checking out your leg and torso for hidden weapons of some sort.   If it were me separated from the crowd, I would be offended.  But to be with the others, and sharing the experience of being man-handled, is quite superb.  We often get together and complain about the same things.

I started to appreciate music when my best friend brought me a copy of Sparks “Kimono My House” to my home.  He puts it on my turntable, and we immediately begin to talk about girls.  At the time, he was going on a date with a girl that I liked a lot.  He knew it, and he loved to tell me sexy stuff about her.  He got great enjoyment in sharing their intimate moments with me.   I remember feeling jealous yet turned on at the same time.  At that moment, when there was silence between us, I noticed the music on the turntable.  I ask him whether he likes it?  He said, “of course. I brought it for you to hear.” Which makes perfect sense.  It’s funny that I had a turntable in the house because I only got it. After all, a friend demanded that I get one.  He claimed that you must have the proper gear to listen to music if you like music.  At the time, I told everyone that I loved music, but in truth, I only wanted to hear music either at parties or in nightclubs. I would never think about listening to music in one’s own home.  What is the purpose of that?

My appreciation of music comes specifically from friends or people I’m interested in.  I often join music online chat groups, primarily if not entirely for the people themselves.  I fancied a girl, and she told me she was a fan of a group called “The Hollywood Stars, ” who no longer exist.  I think they made one album, and even that, I’m not sure if that’s the case or not.  Again, I joined the chat list to stay connected to this girl.   I learned about the band through her, and I guess they came from Los Angeles sometime in the 1970s.  She gave me a CD-R of their music, but I never took the trouble to play it - but I told her that I liked the music anyway.  She told me that the CD-R was a recorded rehearsal for one of their shows - or maybe it was a demo tape they gave out to promoters.  Nevertheless, she thought it was pretty hot and rare, and I acted surprised and honored to have received such a gift.   Through her and others, we became a real-life sociable group on the chat line and would often go out to concerts together.  I never discussed music in detail with these people, but I would let them know that I own the CD-R of the Hollywood Stars, and by this time, I think everyone in the group got a hold of it.  Damn, I even made several copies for my friends, now come to think of it.

All three of us met at my house, and as we waited for UBER to pick us up, I reflected on how grateful I am for culture and what it brings to my life.  Without it, I wouldn’t have the friends I have now.  I sometimes feel that they don’t know me, but I know them quite well.   As we get in the car and head for the darkness of the night, my heart gets brighter for me.