My Life With The United Red Army

Thursday, September 16, 2021 (New York City)

I'm living near Karuizawa, and I chose to live here because of the Asama-Sansō incident that took place on February 19, 1972, to February 28, 1972, in a mountain lodge near here. Most important, it was the first live television broadcast in Japan - lasting 10 hours and 40 minutes. The final day of the standoff is a classic relationship between the Left vs. Everyone and the futility of life as it passes us by. Throughout my life, I have always been secretly attracted to destruction. Although I told people that I had an interest in peace and calm, I desired the exact opposite.

The woman I once loved, Hiroko Nagata, was the co-leader of the United Red Army (URA), which briefly I was a member of. Her partner in crime and politics, Tsuneo Mori, was just as brutal as Hiroko. I often fell into the graces of the most horrid people. I met her at Meiji University when I was going out with another girl named Fusako Shigenobu. We all shared the same politics, where we felt isolated from the mainstream, which condemned us. Fusako, who was an early love, decided to leave the group due to the hard-edgeless of Hiroko's view of being part of the URA. For me, I needed to devote my life to a cause that would make me feel part of a bigger group. I was more interested in life, which would give meaning to myself and those around me. Hiroko often was removed from my feelings towards her. She even showed slight interest in me from the very beginning of our relationship. To her, I was just a tool to serve the Cause. Her ability to look towards the image of Mao, over my shoulder, as I fucked her, always made an impression on me.

When I first joined the URA, there were 29 members, and they lost 14 by killing them less than a year. I could have easily been one of the 14 killed, except I knew when to shut my mouth and kept Hiroko happy. Both Hiroko and Tsuneo were at each other's throats when my name came up. Tsuneo hated me from the very beginning and consistently expressed his opinion of me to Hiroko. The only male friend I had in the group was Moriaki Wakabayashi, who was also a member of my favorite band at the time, Les Rallies Dénudés. Sadly (for various reasons), he took part in the hijacking of the Japan Airlines Flight 351. He eventually ended up in North Korea, and what I last heard, he was still alive but giving bass lessons to members of the North Korean Army. I can forgive him for that, but I just wished he was with me in these challenging, cold, and harsh times.

Hiroko was in her most mean state of mind when attacking other females. I indeed think if Fusako didn't leave the core of the group and started up with another member of the Red Army, she would be tortured and killed by now. Not to sound impolite or even mean, but Hiroko was a real bitch. Especially when you're working with her or, I should say — working under her.

I don't know how it happened, but she just became more and more brutal. I once admired her intelligence and ability to question authority and what they had offered on the table. But as time went on, I sensed she saw the world in a much narrower way. At first, she would lecture the fellow members, and then eventually, she would hit them. For whatever reason, she physically attacked the women in the group. She would hate it when they showed some form of vanity-especially if they wanted to wear make-up or have colored nails. She thought that was bullshit and would at first insist that they hand over the make-up, and she would throw it in the trash or make them break the lipstick and throw it away.

Also, any romantic overtures from either male or female in the group would cause her to go nuts on us. It seems that she always went out of her way to attack the most beautiful woman in the group. The plain-janes, at first, were left alone, but eventually, they would fall into Hiroko's sightlines, and she would subsequently destroy them as well. When we were fucking, I noticed that she really had no genuine interest in the sex act or specifically me. I think she found the sexual act as something beneath her. Soon after our sexual affair, Hiroko became obsessed with the need to see that no one in the group was having sex. Or any sexual activity whatsoever.

Before Karuizawa, when I was dating Fusako, I wouldn't be treated so horribly by the dynamic duo of Hiroko and Tsuneo, but both turned against her. Fusako is a gorgeous woman, and she left me because she felt that I wasn't connected to her due to my political beliefs. She always claimed that I was passive to a silly degree. There is truth in what she says. I think some people are born leaders, and then there are the followers. Fusako is one of those who people are naturally drawn to. Both, due to her beauty and intelligence. I would think Hiroko just as intelligent but never considered a looker if you know what I mean. Yet, there was something very sexual about Hiroko. She did have that ability to seduce — both due to her determination and the razor-like devotion to the group as well as for the Cause. Fusako can expand or even change her viewpoints, but Hiroko never will change her opinion. Once the decision is made, it is written in stone and never erased by the natural elements. When we had sex, I think she used it as power over me. She had many techniques in conveying her strength over individuals.

What set Hiroko off on Fusako was her beauty. She hated attractive women, especially those who attract men. In the act of revenge, she would give Fusako less food than others - and she made sure that Fusako noticed that I was given a great deal of food, compared to the other men. Fusako would be pissed, of course, but I think she was madder at me than Hiroko. She could understand Hiroko's feelings or her sense of hatred but had difficulty understanding my indifference. I mostly didn't want to make waves, so I tried to keep out of the hairy situation. Before it got nuts here, Fusako and Moriaki left the group and started another wing of the Red Army. Bad things happened to them, but that's another narrative. As for me, I stayed. There was no question of me leaving, even if I wanted to.

No one in the remaining group understood the relationship between Hiroko and Tsuneo. Both were equal under everyone's eyes, but Hiroko was an absolute beast - and Tsuneo was just plain sadistic. They both said the same things and phrases - the only difference was that one voice sounded feminine and the other was masculine. Other than that, entirely the same. I had a dream once that both of their bodies became one. And in truth, it is not that far off. What made them scary was their lack of sexual attraction to each other. Their relationship was based on their belief in the political Cause and nothing else. The two supported each other, and their stance in life would never change. If both were to go to Hell, they would go with great passion. What would happen to us was no concern for the two.

We were in an abandoned cabin in Karuizawa, doing our military training in the snow. The location is a second home to a family that owned a fountain pens company in Tokyo. Hiroko managed to have a relationship with the owner's son and got him to give keys and other essential comforts such as cash for the Cause. Once we all got home, the clock and the very day were controlled by Tsuneo and Hiroko.

To show our commitment to the group, some of us had to strip naked and be tied to a tree during the harsh winter and snowing night. Some were freed within an hour. Others were left there overnight. Those who were still chained to the trees were dead by late morning. I had no idea why they were killed or that some were just tied up for an hour. All I know is that I was petrified of the two. The logic seemed to be thrown outside the home, and it became a landscape where Hiroko and Tsuneo controlled the mood. In ways, it reminded me of when I was in a gang in elementary school. Our leader, either out of boredom or some hatred within himself, would go out of his way to do cruel things to his crew's other gangs and members. In a way, it is as if language had failed, and the need to do "action" took over the logic at the time.

We had one hostage that we got from the village. We were able to hold out for a whole week. Hark and Tsuneo expected us to commit suicide. Those who had a different idea of what life is in the group were beaten to death. My attitude was that I was either going to be killed by the duo or the police. I thought it would be more profound to be slaughtered by the police than Tsuneo and Hiroko.

For some odd reason, the police suspected that the hostage was already killed, and there was visual evidence of dead members of the clan—all committed by Hiroko and Tsuneo. So the police decided to attack the structure we are in by sending grenades through the windows and the property around the house. I threw myself out the window and had my hands up. I felt a strong arm pulling me towards the bottom of the hill, and I had my eyes closed during the whole process.

Prison life is terrible but not as bad as spending the winter with Hiroko and Tsuneo. I have been let go, with great restrictions, of course, but now in Karuizawa, thinking that there must be some monument of the lives that were killed on the spot. The structure itself is torn down, and there is a Royal Host restaurant in its place. Perhaps it is best this way. Hiroko died in prison due to brain cancer, and Tsuneo killed himself in his cell years ago. Both never lost their vision. I lost mine some time ago, but then again, I realized I never really had a vision about anything. It was then that I realized that my world, my culture - perhaps the world itself, didn't have a vision as well. The horrible duo, at the very least, died for their vision. Me, I'll die. No one cares when or how.