Pull Myself Up

January 4, 2026

I’m sleeping on the couch; in fact, the couch area is my office, where I try to take naps, which is impossible for various reasons. It’s not that difficult for me to get up to use the bathroom. I can’t just get out of a seat anymore; I have to push myself to the edge of the couch and then use my hands to push myself up. Once I’m up, I feel a bit dizzy, but I’m okay.

For the past three or four weeks, it has been hard to get myself off the toilet. I used the bathroom wall or the sink to pull myself out of there. Then suddenly, I’m on the toilet, I finish my task, and try to stand up. I couldn’t. I couldn’t lift myself, and I tried all the old tricks. It became clear to me that I am now physically part of the bathroom setup. The strange feeling of being part of the toilet and unable to move myself. Lun*na developed a method using my mom’s walker. She positioned it at a specific angle, and with that, along with the bathroom sink, I can lift myself easily. The thing is, you can’t close the bathroom door. But since I got ill, I don’t care about privacy.

When I do walk around the house, I feel very weak, and I walk like an ancient fellow. I look at the walls as guidence to go from one room to the another. Another important aspect of architecture.

I’m having a coughing spell now, and the cough feels like it has a thrown on its side. It is like you are in a room with Dracula, and the evening is approaching.