Tripping

Sunday Jan 18

Almost total confusion - I heard that I will be staying here for six months, but actually 6 days. which makes sense. When they decided I should stay here, I had almost a full suite, but that was only for 12 hours. I think when I was here they must have photographed me when I was out and used it as promotion material to sell the room.

I took the full round of tests again with the same technicians. I think they were pissed off to do it again. They want to make sure my body can take chemo treatment. Once again, they moved me into a new room. Meanwhile, I tried to escape last night, and I wasn’t strong enough to do the great escape. The waiting here makes one feel they are in the entrance of purgatory. Finally, they moved me into the new room. I woke up in the night, fighting a figure trying to tear the airplane apart.I knocked him out, but then I tore the plane apart. The nurse caught me and tried to restrain me. I then went to the bathroom, went no. 2, and then she escorted me back to my bed.

I’m developing bed sores, three in fact. Two in the back and the other on the spine. I remember when my mother had a sore, and once you have it, you have it until death. I can’t do much about it because I’m hooked up and they need me to be confined to the bed. But sitting on the sore is painful. From birth to now, the skin starts to die off. It is amazing, last September I was well, and then I was eating dinner with Mark, and everything went downhill amazingly quickly.

They are preparing me for Chemo, but they need to check my heart, which is a concern. I have Double-hit DLBCL, diffuse large B-cell lymphoma. It’s an aggressive cancer, but it is on the beatable side.