Waiting For Kaiser (Always)

Hospital Diary

Back to the hospital for the next five days or so for the last chemo treatment session. I wonder if this session will make me lose all my hair. As usual, I’m nervous about going back to Kaiser. I never feel good leaving the hospital because of the liquid in my body from the chemo and IV bags dripping poison into my system. My legs swell up again, and once home, it takes about three days to get back to normal. But this is supposed to be the last time, so once I’m home again, I can focus on rebuilding my strength.

One thing I’m not looking forward to is being attached to the IV and chemo. My walking and movement are restricted. At times, they set the alarm on the bed so it goes off if I need to stand up to pee in their plastic container. It’s embarrassing to have nurses rush in while I’m peeing. But I have to get used to the idea that there is no privacy in a hospital room.

The other drag is that sometimes my phone doesn’t ring or pick up calls from the hospital or doctors. I tried to access all my calls, but my iPhone is complicated in that area. When you call back, it’s hard to reach the doctor or nurse who called in the first place. One headache after another.

I have to decide which book to bring while I’m at Kaiser. I was thinking about bringing the Satyricon by Petronius. I want to read it because the fictional character Jean des Esseintes in Against Nature raves about it. Since I know nothing about ancient Roman literature, I researched the best translation of the Satyricon and concluded that Sarah Ruden is widely regarded as its best translator. But now I’m thinking: should I really be reading about orgies in ancient Rome in a hospital room?

I came to the conclusion that I’ll bring Georges Braque & Others: The Selected Art Writings of Trevor Winkfield, published by The Song Cave. Going through the book, this painter and writer seems to bring a real charm to his critique of the visual arts. He was closely associated with the New York School of Poetry and once translated Raymond Roussel for Exact Change. How can I not love this man?

Kaiser just called and told me I can come to the hospital today at 1 PM. They said my room is ready, but I don’t believe them. For the past six months, every time I’ve come in, I’ve ended up waiting while they prepare the room. I usually sit in the reception area for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. Kaiser never waits for me. I always wait for Kaiser.